Being a parent is hard. There is no doubt about it. I’m writing this blog because I am really frustrated listening to stories about one parent who doesn’t want the other parent to be there for their child because things didn’t work out.
If a parent wants to be there for that child let them. Stop being stubborn. Stop being selfish. You are only hurting that child. Do you know how it feels for a child to grow up with a mom or dad? It sucks. I would know because it’s my story.
The only way I can see you keeping a child away from their mom or dad is if that parent has a problem with drugs, mental illness, or is abusive in any form. If that parent is a good parent, let them see their baby.
I also have an issue with parents who stop fighting for their child. Why bring forth a child if you are not going to fight for them, their rights and yours? Once again personal on my part. Both my parents abandoned me. It’s the story I was told. One was abusive and one was a drug addict. It’s all circumstantial evidence to me and I’m 28. Point simply was…you were my parents. You failed me. You abandoned me. You let the government take me away.
I am stronger today…Yes. However do you know about the family that I lived with? Do you know the things that happened to me? The abuse I endured? If you got your life together and started over…why didn’t you come back for me? You had another child after me and you kept in touch with all my other siblings. Why not me?
Truth be told the family that I was living with threatened my mom about contacting me. My parents never signed over their parental rights. They could have gotten me whenever they wanted but they stopped fighting for me.
I’m a single mom with an eight year old. Since he’s been born I’ve dated three guys. The last guy happens to be my fiance. I’ve never let anyone into his life of the male figure. His father gave up on him when he realized that he would have to fight my guardians just to see him. He walked away. Every promise made broken because the battle got to hard for him.
Sadly, I wasn’t even fighting him. I wanted him to see his son…get to know him. No one knew more than me how much having the support of two parents meant. It’s been eight years. He had two more children. Before I moved, I saw him all the time. He’s still very much attracted to me. He wants a relationship with me but he’s never once asked about his son. Just like he never asked, I never brought him up. I’d rather be a single parent then push a child to someone who doesn’t want him.
It sucks. Being in a position where you have to make the best choice for your child. I understand that. However, if at any point he wanted to have a relationship with his son I would have granted him the opportunity with supervised visits. I guess I’m a little more understanding.
Listening to someone say I’ve tried but I’m being ignored…my calls and texts go unanswered so I’m going to give up. I’m going to stop because I get mad when I’m ignored. Hearing that sucks because you are the parent that is actively trying. My advice is don’t give up. Keep trying. If you love that child enough keep trying. No matter how much walls you run into. Write letters, save every attempt to contact them, and document everything because if you really want to know your child then you’ll know that this is going to be a long battle. There is no finish line or no victory.
Your child deserves to know you. If you have to go to court just to get five minutes with your child then so be it. At least you are trying. Your child may not understand what you’re doing now but trust me, when they get older they will see that you fought your very best for them. They will see through whatever lies the other parent is saying.
It’s not going to magically fix itself overnight but isn’t your child worth the fight? Every rejection, court date, tears, etc…It’s worth it because at the end of the day your child will know that someone was fighting for them because they are worth something.
Hikari Aie
hikaricherryblossoms 