When the pain
And the hurt
Becomes too much
I scream in
The form of

Hikari Aie



The ocean crashes against the shore

on Honeymoon Beach

The warm sand beneath our feet

As you pull me from my seat

The boats are docking

Friends are watching

As you dropped to one knee

Asking me that crazy question

“Will you marry me?”

My hearts stops beating

Tears start to fall

My face is red

And I can hear it all

Your declaration of love

Our friends saying yes

Watching you on one knee

Speaking to me

A girl whose had it rough

Been told that she’ll

Never be good enough

Will never be loved

To see that this guy

Picked me

Wanted me

Loved me

Was more than enough

For me to nod my head

And whisper


© Hikari Aie




Hold On

As the casket lowers

He holds onto her

Not because he’s sad

But to support her

In her time of need

Don’t let go

Hold on

Cry if you need too

Still hold on

My chest is ready

To receive your tears

He’s still holding on

For you…

For us..

You’ll never have to

Do it alone

He’ll always be there

Supporting you

Supporting us

Never let go Baby Girl


Hold On

© Hikari Aie


Happy Birthday Hikari Aie

It’s my birthday.

Yes, I am excited. I mean it only comes once a year.

I’ve reached the point in my life where everything finally feels right.

Today is my day to shine.

Whether I get something or not, I am going to make it through this day with nothing but smiles.

I’m going to find myself the biggest slice of cake I can find and happily devour it with a glass of milk.

Thank you in advance for the birthday love.

Click >here< to see my demands…I promise you they are simple.


© Hikari Aie


Being cheated on doesn’t only

Change you but it redirects

Your concept on love

The person you loved lied

Even though you tried

To be the best you could be

Trying to come back

From that place

Is hard

Trust is broken

Faith is misplaced

All by the one person

Who promised

Never to lie to

Your face

© Hikari Aie 


Birthday Wishes

Tomorrow is my birthday. I was suppose to write this blog a long time ago but I was side tracked with life. I have a few demands. Okay….I’m joking. No demands…just a few wishes.

Every year for my birthday the only thing I wish for is a break. My dad’s business takes up so much time that I’ve never gotten to celebrate any holiday, especially my birthday. It’s gotten to the point where it’s even been forgotten or rushed off because other things were more important. You would think that after a while I’d stop being so happy and optimistic right. Nope. Not me…I’m all buckets full of sunshine.

On my birthday I took the day off to spend it with friends but plans changed. Even though I’m off from both my jobs…my dad decided to do a last minute event. As always, the universe provides and I’ll be working on my birthday for my dad…for free.

What I would like for my birthday would be the following:

  • Lots of birthday wishes!!!!!
  • Birthday Cards…email or send it in the mail. Many thank you’s will follow.
  • Pencil Crayons because I love coloring
  • Adult Coloring Books to use those awesome pencil crayons on.
  • Any Dance Dance Revolution Game and mat for either the Wii, Playstation 3 or 4, XBOX 360 or One. Gotta exercise right
  • Pandora Charm Bracelet or a Pandora Charm
  • Gummy Bears
  • Silly Socks
  • Hearts
  • To feel loved and appreciated
  • To be surprised
  • Tons of laughter

DanceDanceRevolution II Bundle - Nintendo Wii

I don’t think that wish list is too hard to follow. I could do without a lot on it though. Anyway…I hope everyone is doing well and I’m sending you hugs from my sunny little island.

© Hikari Aie


Dear Ovaries…

Dear Ovaries,

Please stop nagging and reminding me that my clock is ticking. The baby fever that you have dropped upon my lap needs to stop. We’ve already had this discussion and we decided that we don’t want no more babies. We love to sleep.

However, you have stripped me down to strings of my soul and now I wake up every morning yearning for a baby. I want to feel the morning sickness and the pressure of my child growing on my bladder. I want swollen feet and to feel the butterfly kisses that my child will place upon me as they move. I want to endure the pain and struggling for the next nine months, keeping my child safe from harms way until they are safe in my arms.

Let us not not forget that new baby smell. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about…that lovely scent that you inhale every time you place a gentle kiss on their heads. Let us not forget about the joy they bring us when they first smile, walk, and talk.

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me for I am losing the battle with my heart and ovaries. My mind is not strong enough to over power them both. The need for an addition to my family is starting to consume me and I have thought about stealing my god babies indefinably.

Here is to hoping that my significant other will be strong enough to convince my heart and ovaries otherwise. He will be the one to carry the torch and say “NO.” He is my pillar of strength when needed most. Your have an obligation to fill. It is to take control of a spiraling situation. I’m secretly baby shopping. The madness must end!


Desperately Yearning

© Hikari Aie


I haven’t been writing for a while because I’ve been going through some things. I’ve also been living. My life is starting to consume most of my time but that doesn’t mean that I should ignore my followers…if I have any.

My grandmother passed. I’m still dealing with that. I’m actually avoiding dealing with it in a sense. My best friend birthday has passed. He was killed a few years ago. I’m handling that as well. I lost my health insurance as well. I’m trying to get that back as fast as I can…no such luck.

However with all the pain there must be some sort of light at the end of tunnel. My light happens to be that I’m in an amazing relationship. It’s possible that I’m soon to be engaged. I’m also watching my love graduate with his masters. I’m celebrating my birthday next week Wednesday and I’m super excited. I’m moving in July to start a new life.

With all the bad life always finds a way to balance stuff out.

Hikari Aie


I’ve been missing for a while.

What’s new?

My grandmother passed….She died at 10 am on May 4th 2016. How am I taking it? Not well. Most day’s I’m doing well…other days I think about how I could have done right by her…been by her side more. I’m quiet and in my thoughts.

May 8th 2016 is going to be my best friend’s birthday. He was murdered four years ago…How am I taking it? Devastated. Losing him…killed me. I can’t even remember the sound of his voice. It’s like I’m losing him all over again.

Why is it that their voices are the first to go away?

I feel like I’m losing my mind in grief but I haven’t cried….I’m talking about the mental breakdown where you bawl until you’re weak. I’ve shed a few tears but there’s a dam locked up inside of me that I can’t unlock.

I’m angry….so angry but what can I do right? I just leave it tucked away inside somewhere. I know I should let it out or scream or shout. I don’t have the time to do it. Not with my schedule. The goals I have in mind takes a lot of work. No rest for the weary.

The busier I am…the less time I have to think. However…when everything stills and the mind wonders…The depression and the thoughts kicks in.

Grief is crazy. No matter how much we accept that death is a part of life, we’ll never be prepared to let them go.

© Hikari Aie