When It Rains It Pours

Have you ever heard of the saying when it rains it pours?

I’m living that saying right now. I feel like I’m trapped in a nightmare. If it’s not one thing then it’s another.

I’m so angry, so so angry at someone. I’m an animal lover. I grew up with so much dogs that I developed an allergy to them. I don’t think this person will ever know how much they disappointed me when they let the sweetest animal in the world down.

I see having a pet like having a child. You made a commitment that you need to fulfill. It’s like having a baby. You have to feed and bathe them. Clothe them if you wish. Play with them and keep them company. That’s love and responsibility.

Being responsible means admitting that you cannot parent that animal and finding another loving home for them. I mean I know people will look at me and say that,”Oh it’s just a dog.” but I don’t see that. I see a companion. You can kick a dog and they will still comeback to your side because they see you as a friend, who made a mistake, no matter how many times you made the mistake.

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That’s my baby girl. Her name is Dusk. She’s a year and a half. She loves long walks and tummy rubs. She loves to be read to. She likes listening to gossip and enjoys barking at random things. She’s amazing, loving, and kind. She deserves the best.

I trusted her with someone and that person really let me down. In a sense, I let her down as well. Maybe I should have checked in on her more. Deep down I knew something was wrong but I didn’t try to do anything. I failed her. They failed her as well.

As allergic as I am I’m spending my last couple days with her. She eats her food then jumps up on me. I read my book out loud like old times because I know moments like this are sure to end. I’m up all day and night searching for a loving home for her. Someone that has a child so they can run together. She’s still a puppy. She deserves the unconditional love that I can’t give her right now or her owner.

I’m being responsible and finding her a happy home. I’ve spoken to Humane Society and the Foundation. No one want to take her on but if they see what I see or spend just a little bit of time with her then they would see she’s amazing. She licks your tears when you cry and just sits with you. She loves bacon treats.

I can’t take her someplace where they will put her to sleep because they are too crowded. She deserves a chance too. Just because she isn’t the small purse dog that everyone wants doesn’t mean she won’t melt hearts. She’s a heart breaker that one there.

I mean I must sound foolish, ranting over a dog but that’s just how I feel. I mean I’m going through rough times. I have no job. All the bills are overdue. The car needs to go in the shop. My glasses are being held together with glue. Every little cent that I have goes into my son and his school. I’m fine with that. I’ve adapted. Every other cent that I have I put into Dusk. I’d divide everything in half between my son and Dusk. As long as I can keep her fed I’m okay.

She’s like my second child. I love her but I’m broke, not homeless. Just dead beat broke, trying to make the best of awful situations.

I’m sad and angry and hurt. You would think I would be upset about my financial distress but I’m not. I’m worried about Dusk having tick fever and heart worms. I’m worried about finding her a forever home. I’m worried about having to say good bye but if it comes to that, putting her down, I don’t think I’ll recover from it.

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I know you might be saying, “But it’s just a dog” but to me, she’s amazing and she deserves the best.

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