Amplified

The pain is amplified by you.

I see you walk by everyday.

Can you see me? I can’t breathe.

The one I can never have, never hold.

You call my name, but it’s not out of love.

It never will be.

Every moment I spend

Only of you does my mind dwell

From the second of my awakening, alone in my empty room

To the moment of rest at night

And after which my mind suffers a torment

As all dreams are of you.

Never will you truly see me.

Out of passion, or love, or pain

But my eyes see only you, grief filled, sorrowful.

Never but forever.

You can never be mine, or I yours

The pain is amplified to fill my mind.

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Sand

Sand through my fingers

It’s like

Sand through my fingers

Blowing itself away.

For all the pretty words, I

Can’t find anything to say.

So take my silence as an answer

Because you always knew

You’d have to fall away

Just like those dreams you slew.

Long ago I promised

My dreams would never die.

But then I let you in

And realized it was all a lie.

Life’s like

Sand through my fingers

Blowing itself away.

I listen to the silence scream and

Realized, there’s nothing left to say.

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She Sings

She sings
About a little princess
Who lives far away
High in a tower
Where no one can touch her
And hour by hour
And day by day
She sings

About a little princess

The light falls across her face
She squeezes her eyes shut

Who lives far away

The third floorboard squeaks
She stiffens her body

High in a tower

The cold air hits her skin
She holds her breath

Where no one can touch her

The mattress sinks in
She closes her mind

And hour by hour
And day by day
She sings
About a little princess
Who lives far away
High in a tower

Where no one can touch her

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Sin

His eyes burn in the dark.

Tears forsake him still.

It has been so long since he lost that simple comfort.

He does not notice the cold of the night that enshrouds him.

His thoughts are on her.

Her image fills his head.

He sees her phantom dancing, smiling, laughing.

She beckons him to join her; he declines.

He prefers to watch her dance.

Her bare feet in the grass.

She twirls.

A glimpse of a pale knee beneath the folds of her dress.

He inhales slowly.

The flow of her gauzy skirt over the swell of her hips and slight waist.

She laughs.

The curve of her arms in the moonlight.

He holds his breath.

The milky skin of her breast and collarbone.

She tilts her head.

The freckle on her neck.

He rises.

The ringlets cascading down her back.

She reaches for him.

The warmth of her body.

He can no longer hold back.

Her surrender in his arms.

She closes her eyes.

And she is gone.

He sits, alone with his sin.

Burning.

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Damsel, No More

She never really had a chance,
It was so much more than circumstance.
A shadow’s glance caught her astray,
Bound her up and bore her away.

She knew not when the time would come,
There was no place to seek freedom.
Waiting, she would have to pray,
That the shadows would just go away.

Then came the moment to overthrough
The shadow that stole her long ago.
She gathered up her strength to strive
And knew the shadows would not survive.

Her will was her arrow, her anger was the bow,
The shadows all stood waiting as she aimed for the blow.
Then she cast the shadows down, they withered and were gone,
She fired up into the sky and unleashed, full force the dawn.

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Them

Him

Knocking, knocking, knocking insistently upon her door:

“Are you there?”

A steady pounding of fists and cries, yells and pleads.

“Please, let me in.”

Rhythmic twists of the doorknob, locked fast and tight.

“I made a mistake, all right?”

Then a final, harsh kick that echoes in her ears.

“Why won’t you unlock the friggin’ door?”

Her

Drawing shut the curtains, slowly, delicately.

“Yes, I am here, I am here alone.”

Whipping back the silky sheets in one calm, smooth stroke.

“No, you are no longer welcomed here.”

Sitting on the bed, switching off the warm glow of the lamp.

“Stay away from me.”

Slipping under the sheets, tucking herself in.

“I choose me.”image

Giving Up

He said this, she said that,
She desperately tried to explain,
But he just wouldn’t listen.
In the end, she gave up.

He left—she cried,
Yet he couldn’t let go of the past,
The pain was too great.
In the end, he gave up.

Moving on was the only option,
But the pain was excruciating,
It was the perfect killing.
In the end, they gave up.

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My Heart

Of all the places that cover the land,
There is one I cherish and deem very grand
This place that I covet is just for me
Where I run when I am feeling lonely.

This place that I revere is mine alone, my little secret.
Sometimes I open it like a book so people can read it.
It’s foolish of me to leave myself so vulnerable to you,
But what you see inside is the side of me that’s true.

What you see is me without the facade
My true feelings and beliefs that are quite odd.
How I long to act this way always for you
I struggle to think how you would react too.

This place is my heart where I roam free.
No one to tell me that what I say cannot be.
It is a beautiful dwelling for my true self
Where the sorrow I feel is allowed to be felt.

I can cry in this home, away from my peers.
A nice cozy land where I can shed all my tears.
No men to fear in my calm land of great pain
Not one dreary reason to think of love again.

I weep here alone,
In silence, in my home.
The source of my darkness spills from my soul
My barricades are proofed for the smallest hole

No one comes in, yet nothing’s let out
It will hurt me in the end, there is no doubt.
But for now I am safe, behind my cold stonewalls
No men to mislead me, and second-guess my calls

The pungent smell of death lingers in the air
My soul killed by someone who never cared
The rough edges of my heart are now callused
It’s been punctured with feelings of malice.

Inside contains my joyous land
All aglow with a glee that’s so grand.
Here I am happy and never blue
Now I can dream that you love me too

In my world, there are iridescent flowers
And time isn’t counted, not even in hours
The soft sound of music dances in your ears
And the soft lyrics let you forget all your fears.

Your smile will be unceasing
Your happiness increasing
Just make sure you never hurt me
These are fragile walls, as you can see.

The softness of grass below my feet
And the way skin shimmers in the heat All of my pleasure will easily dissipate
If you ever fill me with anymore hate.

These walls are meant to keep hate out.
But they are failing and will soon give out.
I can see the black mist flowing through the cracks
My world is being submerged, no time to relax.

“Why?” I ponder as I glance upward to my brain.
It gives me an answer that brings even more pain.
“You have hurt me, as you said you would not”
Now my stomach is churning in harsh tight knots.

I want to be held now; I long to feel needed
I need that feeling, like I’ve finally succeeded
But alas, I receive nothing in my now barren prison
Not one reason for living or loving was given.

I tightly curl up as the darkness engulfs me
My treasured world is left in ruin I can now see.
I weep silently for the loss of my blissful paradise
Now my hardened heart has turn to nothing but ice

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You

All I want is you…

All I want is to be wrapped in your embrace,
As you place tender kisses on my face.
Your hands getting tangled in my hair,
While you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

All I need is you…

All I need is for you to be here,
When I feel that life’s not fair,
Telling me, “Baby, have no fear.”
“I’ll always be there.”

All I want is you…

All I want is to see you smile
And for you to walk a thousand miles
Just to be with me
As we make our mark in history

All I want is for things to be like it use to be
When times were simple and it was just you and me
A time where we were endlessly happy
Where I was living for you and you were living for me

Sadly, this is just a memory.

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