Unable to meet his gaze, her eyes are cast down in her lap. The conversation is deep, uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. In that moment she wishes that the earth would open up beneath her and swallow her whole. Unfortunately, it doesn’t and she is forced to answer the question that she’s been dreading to hear.
“Who are you?”
A question asked because the answer was at the moment a need to know. Her dirty little secret was about to come out and things may go down hill from there. Her first instinct is to lie. To become the person he wanted her to be and not the person she was in that moment. Instead, she went with a more cautious response…
“What do you mean?”
She felt proud of herself. She didn’t had to lie but she didn’t tell the truth either. She merely answered the question with a question. It was something she knew he hated but with her if she was lucky then she would get a pass. Unfortunately, tonight was not her night. He wasn’t giving her the pass she so desperately desired.
“Don’t tell me until you want to,
but my trust is gone til you do.”
It was then that she looked up at him, their eyes didn’t meet. They couldn’t. It was as if he had physically hit her and part of her wish he did. A hit she could take. She grew up with brothers and fighting was nothing to her. It was the gut wrenching hole his words left within her that bothered her. She had his love, that was the easy part. However keeping his trust seemed to be a harder task than holding his heart in her hands.
She wanted his trust, desired it even. It was like the part of her was fighting to hold onto it but it felt like she was losing. His trust seemed to be slipping from her like sand gliding through her fingers. She didn’t want that. Who would?
“In this moment, who am I talking too?”
She paused and looked down. This was the moment of truth. This would be the time where she would have to be at her most vulnerable and most exposed. This was the dark secret she hid from the world with ease and the secret he wanted to know, to get to understand. This was her moment of truth.
“I am two sides of the same coin.”
I am two sides of a coin. I go by two names, two very different personalities but we share the same body. We are different as night and day. I live for the thrills and she would rather read a book. Switching will occur from time to time. During those times, one loses track of another. Seconds turns into minutes. Minutes turns into hours. Hours turns in to days. Days to weeks and so forth.
Losing time became a regular. We left notes to each other. Today I did this….Yesterday I did that. We adapted….until we fell in love with two different guys. The fight for dominance came at an all time high. One heart going this way and the other pulled in another.
This is my secret
Even though she avoids his gaze, she feels him watching her. She holds her breath unable to hear his next question that she anxiously awaits for.
“What do you want?”
The question answered with relief floating in the air. However, this question still goes unanswered.
“Who are you?”
Am I the girl you fell in love with or am I the girl who has to pretend to be the girl you love?