Intimacy

In life we all need intimacy.

Intimacy doesn’t always have to mean being physical with someone. It can also mean having a mental bond that’s strong. Examples can be intimacy between friends. The secrets that only they will ever know. What about the intimate relationship between a mother and son or father or daughter.

In my honest opinion, I believe that you cannot live without intimacy. I value intimacy a lot. When it gets taken away from me it feels weird. I’m at a lost because its so strange not to have it.

Intimacy in a relationship is crucial. I am not talking about the intercourse portion. I’m talking about all the time that it takes to build to that.

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We are talking about those long walks on the beach moments. Sitting and talking for hours upon hours about nonsense. Trying to be the first and last person they talk too. Driving in the car singing songs that no one knows the words too. The innocent first kiss. The first time you said

I love you

The compliments you get from each other.

Your Beautiful.

Your eyes are amazing.

The way they make you feel after a bad day. When you have that shoulder to cry on and warm body to lean on. Soft caresses on their cheek. Butterfly kisses. Amazing moments.

When you build

Trust

And they make you feel

Safe & Secure

For me that is

Intimacy

Loving couple holdind on the hands and sunset

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Broken

I’ve been missing for a while and it has not been easy.

Long story short I’ve been going through the motions. I kept a lot of stuff in and after a while it got to me…so I broke. Imagine that you have a bird or an angel and you are plucking the wings from it one by one. It would hurt right.

This is how it’s been for me the last couple of days. I can’t control it. I don’t know what to do with it or how to handle it. So I kept it in and it slowly eats away at me. Suddenly, I found myself in the deepest state of depression that I have ever been in my life.

I don’t want to go out, read, write, or do anything. I’m just here existing like everyone else in the world. I’m doing the bare minimum to make it. It feels like my heart is in someone else’s hands and they are slowly squeezing it until I cease to exist.

I’m not suicidal, so don’t worry. I guess I’m just hurt in more ways than one. To¬†express myself to the one’s I care about hurts them more so I keep a vow of silence because the last thing I want is to cause the people I care for more pain.

You said I was a strong person….but even strong people break.

Silver Tears Fallen Angel

I started something in 2003…Tell me if you think it’s worth continuing. It’s something that I would like to complete and cross of my procrastination list. Thank you for your opinion.

Silver Tears Fallen Angel

She awoke with a start only to hear the thunder. She could hear the rain on the veranda and assumed the storm had just started. With reluctance, she climbed out the bed and made her way toward the French windows. Since the room was quite stuffy she left the windows open, for the air was quite chilly. The room was completely dark, and the rain muffled all her sounds as she crawled into the bed and fell asleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night, she slowly drifted out of sleep and listened to the raindrops softly hitting the veranda. She slowly crawled out the bed and made her way toward the windows.

She then covered her ears to block the screams. The screaming had to stop. She couldn’t stand it another minute, but she knew she was helpless to save them. Her family, and her best friend Nikki, with whom she’d ridden to the edge of the forest with was all gone. She was lucky to survive with only a few bruises, cuts, and scrapes. She had taken a blow to the head that made her memory blur but she could still hear the screaming. She looked around her and looked at all the survivors of the village.

The assassin’s speared the children but the parents weren’t as lucky. She had counted about one infant, two ten-year-olds and four teenagers, myself included. Most of the children were taken as slaves or died of illness or dehydration. Before they left the village they buried the dead and tried to find as much food ad possible but that was impossible due to the fire.

We were even lucky enough to find this abandon house, it wasn’t much but offered us protection from the rain and the animals. We started a small fire but it soon died out due to the wind and rain. We had little food and water that wouldn’t last us until nightfall the next day. We could only hope for things to get better the next day.

Things didn’t get better the next day it only got worst. The infant died with a fever that we tried to prevent. The illness spread like wild fire and soon two more of us took ill. We needed water but the lake pasted through the assassin’s camp and I couldn’t afford any more of us being captured. By the end of the day we were captured by the assassins and became slaves. Days passed and we were sold into slavery, by nightfall we tried to escape but was captured again and punished with the whip and harsh labor.

I was supposed to be punished to death but instead I went to a slave market. The first thing I noticed was that the humans was kept in cages. The cages were worn and rusted, showing how long they had been there. It was then that I noticed it had started to rain. The cages offered very little shelter and I shivered. I was thrown into a very small cage that barely had room to move around in. I crawled into a corner and started to cry.

I was afraid for my life and also what they would do to me if they found out I was fimena. In my village it meant that I was a cat goddess. My green eyes glistened with tears as my tail wrapped protectively around my waist. Once more the cage opened again and food was thrown in, it was some type of meat and bread. The sight of it only made my stomach turn and I pushed it away as the man looked in the cage.

“You’re going to need it little one. For it will be your last meal for the week,” he said. He then noticed my tail which was still wrapped around my waist and grabbed it. I cried out in pain and which only made him pull it more. My vision started to blur for my tail was the most sensitive part in my body. He laughed then let my tail go as my body went limp.

He then turned and called another guy over. He stared into the cage and looked at me. He smiled and I smelled the alcohol in his breath. He reached in and grabbed my tail and pulled me towards him. I cried out in pain and he smiled.

“It looks like we’ve got ourselves the catch of the day. Many will pay big money for her. It’s often rare to find a fimena,” he laughed thinking of all the money they would make of me which made me back away from him with fear in my eyes. It only angered him as I backed away and he pulled my tail harder, which only made me whimper in pain. He smirked and slammed the cage door shut.

I closed my eyes and whimpered as I wrapped my tail around my waist. I crawled in the corner of the cage and watched as people walked around buying slaves. I closed my eyes, shutting out the world until I heard someone say.

“How much for that fimena over there”

Most likely needs editing and such. This is just the original version.