I haven’t done a log in quite some time. As you know I’ve been going though the motions of a ugly breakup with my ex of five years. Unofficially we’ve been broken up for a year. Officially is been seven months.
I’ve learned the following:
As the months passed I’ve went through all the stages of a breakup and finally I’ve come to the point of acceptance. I’ve accepted the fact that he cheated and lied. He took me for granted and at the end of the day he hurt me. I mean yes it sucks to be taken advantage of but I’m a stronger person today because of it.
I gave myself time to heal because I needed it. I didn’t go searching for someone to love. I just dealt with it. I cried when I needed to cry and screamed a lot.
I surrounded myself with someone who cared about me and just tried my hardest to move on. However, it is hard to move on when you still haven’t accepted the situation that you’re in. Once you’ve accepted what you did or didn’t do wrong everything sort of just falls into place.
Will I say that he was a mistake? No. I really did love him but I’m not going to beat myself up over him because I found something better.
I found myself.
I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve learned that I’m not going to repeat them. I’ve forgiven myself and this is why moving on is coming easy to me. It’s an amazing feeling to have peace of mind. No more tears. No more why me. The pain literally melted away.
Now the question is what do I do?
This is what I did…I let go of my past and now I’m focusing on my future. I must admit that it’s looking very bright.
I also follow this golden rule. Once I leave my house, I promise myself that nothing is going to steal my joy. I mean we all have moments where we feel down or sad but don’t focus on that.
The simple things in life makes me tremendously happy. Squeaky toys, things that glow in the dark, butterflies, rain, eating ice, and just laughing with my friends…All of those things makes me happy and I enjoy being happy.
I’ve honestly never been so happy and satisfied in my life. Having a man didn’t do that, loving myself did. Once I loved myself then everything else fell into place. I lost friends because I realized my worth and I’m okay with that. I met someone who loves me for me. He even loves me when I wake him up at four in the morning crying because it’s raining. It’s silly but this is me. The real me.
Now if you’ve been following me then you are probably thing why are you dating already. Well…that is a story for another blog and trust me, it’s coming soon.
© Hikari Aie