Moving On 101: Log 9 – Fight For It

When you’re in a relationship you’re suppose to fight. I’m not talking about the arguments that leads to screaming matches. I’m talking about fighting for what you believe in…fighting for your love.

It is super easy to say that you have someone by your side all the time but how many of you fight for them after they say, “Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend/girlfriend.” In my opinion, you should never stop fighting. You should fight everyday with everything you do.

Pick a day of the week and make it date night. Try breakfast in bed, take long walks, go to the beach, or simply text them randomly and say I love you. Tell them that they look handsome or beautiful. The sky is the limit. I can shot off a million simple ideas off the top of my head.

Never make the person you want to spend the rest of your life with feel unwanted. Never make them feel unloved. Never stop fighting. I implore you to keep finding ways to make them happy. You can’t give you 10% and expect 100% from them. It doesn’t work like that. Relationships are 50/50.

I’ve never had anyone fight for me before until now. My spouse goes above and beyond for me and I do for him as well. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to find a text from him and I smile. Other times he sets messages in my calendar alerts on my phone. I never know about them until they pop up randomly. He fights for me everyday. It makes me feel happy and special.

His challenge has been my parents, specifically my father. My father has control issues. He’s ruthless and no one has stood up to him for me before, not even my ex of five years. We dated for five years and he never once tried to meet my father because he was too afraid. He never tried. I always had to go above and beyond just to see him. It felt like I was sneaking around my parents back. I hated it. I remember asking him if he would ever fight for me/us. His response was “No. I’d never force you to be with me if you didn’t want to.” I guess this was why it was so easy for him to walk away from what we had in the first place. I was too much work.

My spouse has faced my father several times. He’s actually gotten involved in the family business and stood up for me. He stays respectful at all times but he’ll never let him destroy me or tear me down. He’s fighting for us…my love. Whenever I asked that question, “Will you fight for me?” that’s all I wanted. Someone who wasn’t afraid of my father…who wasn’t afraid to be a part of my crazy family in the long haul.

Every day is something new and different. The smallest thing between us means the world to me because I’m no longer sneaking. I’m safe around him and he’ll never give up on me…on us. He’ll give me whatever I want and all I have to do is ask but he’s already given me what I really wanted. He’s fighting for me and he’ll continue to fight for me every day for the rest of our lives. He’ll never let me give up on us, never let me walk away. I love him for that.

Relationships are a lot of give and take. It’s a 50/50 commitment. Never stop fighting for your love and your significant other. The smallest thing can mean the world to them. Try it some time. The random “I love you” or the simple forehead kiss. Lunch dates or just watching a movie at home. You can find a way to make it work if you want it to.

Keep the spark between you alive and never let it die.

© Hikari Aie

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