Day 10 – Past Indiscretions

Day 10 – Discuss your first love and first kiss.

My first love and first kiss were never the same in one. I always had a crush growing up but I was never considered the cream of the crop. I was always the last picked for just about everything.

I didn’t receive my first kiss until I was in 11th grade. I was really attracted to this guy who was really not attracted to me or so I thought. It was interesting because his girlfriend broke up with him on Valentine’s Day intentionally after she got everything she could get from him. Girls were vicious in my school.

I never came on to him though. Even though I was in 11th grade I was still shy and awkward around guys. I couldn’t talk to a crush without turning red. Since I was really light skin it always looked like my face was turning purple. I avoided guys at all cost. The embarrassment wasn’t worth it.

One day we were talking and he turned to me and said,”I really like you.” I was shocked and rooted to the floor. I mentally started planning escape routes like Sherlock Holmes. I thought he was messing with me like all the other jerks in my school. He approached me and I backed myself into a corner. Smart….I know. With no where else to run, I stared at him. He told me he wanted to try something and I went from a red alert to a code black. He pulled me him, tilted my head back, and kissed me.

I always imagined my first kiss to be fireworks and in that moment it was. I got butterflies in my stomach and everything. It felt so good that I didn’t want it to end. Now looking back on it I realized it was one of the wettest kisses I’ve ever had. It was sloppy and there was saliva every where. We did have to wipe our lips after but you know. It was my first kiss. Who cares if I nearly drowned in the process?

Now my first love was my best friend. I loved him to the moon and back. He pulled me out of the darkest places and many times he saved me from myself. He was kind, sweet, caring, funny, and annoying. Even though he was disgusting as heck I wouldn’t have changed him for anything. I loved his good and bad.

His death left a hole in my heart that I never thought I would have never been able to fill. I never understood what it really meant to love someone until I met him. I never knew what love was. I could have told someone I love you but for me it was just words. When I told him I loved him, there was so much emotion behind it that it felt like I was suffocating…in a good way. I’m glad that our paths crossed.

© Hikari Aie

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