I’m not excited about this day. You see…I have to go to the doctor. I don’t like doctors. I just feel like they downplay what’s really wrong with you so that you have to come back. Now I don’t think all doctor’s are bad but I know some of them actually do this. I also hate needles.
On this day, it doesn’t surprise me that my significant other isn’t with me. He just stopped showing up all of a sudden. He works most of the night so the only time he gets to sleep is during the day. I try not to be mad at him when I know he’s exhausted but this was one time I really needed him with me…after everything.
The hardest part about an appointment is waiting. I got a ride as close to office as I could and I walked up. I made sure that I got up early so I could be out early. It’s a little before seven and I’m waiting. Once the office opens, I’m quickly checked in and now the real waiting begins. I’m still feeling run down and tired. I figured that the walk probably pushed it a little bit too much. At that time, I wasn’t driving and my transportation was still home sleeping. I still wasn’t mad.
I didn’t get in to see the doctor until minutes to ten. All the events of the night I was admitted was recalled. I was still nervous. I twisted my hands and tried not to leave it show. It wasn’t until the nurse came in and the doctor went over my physical that she announced, “Good news it that the baby seems to be doing well.”
I looked at the doctor like she was mad but at the same time I was relieved. Everything didn’t happen because I neglected myself…technically. It started because our baby wanted to make an big announcement that she was there. Boy or girl, I would love them the same. I already concluded in my head that it had to be a girl because the entrance was so dramatic.
Throughout the morning I was texting my boyfriend. He was up and about. I can’t say that I wasn’t disappointed that he wasn’t there with me. I really wanted him to be there when the news was broken but he had other things planned. When I called to tell him the news, he already guessed it when I said, “Babe, guess what.” His immediate response was, “You’re pregnant.” Now we did this routine every time I went to the doctor or dentist. The only thing different was that this time it was actually true.
When I told him I wasn’t joking he said, “I know. Congratulations. Now tell the father.” I laughed it off and told him he was so funny. I have to admit that after everything that I had gone through his words hurt. I relayed to him that the doctor was trying to convince me to do tests and lab work one time since I was in the building. I asked him if he could come. I didn’t want to do it alone and I knew they were gonna take a lot of blood. I also hated doing the test for checking for diabetes. It takes an hour to complete and if you go over by an hour and one minute, you have to start all over.
He said he was doing something with Silence and he would be there. He never showed up until the ending. I can’t say that I was okay but I was majorly disappointed. I just didn’t want to show it. I really wanted him to be there with me in the moment. I didn’t want continue texting him on a basically dead phone. I don’t know if I have the right to complain but I spent five hours at the doctors office and I just wanted comfort.
When I walked outside the office, I was frustrated. My phone was dead and I had no clue where he was or if he was still coming. I wasn’t surprised that he was there with his friend. This was the first time I actually envied Silence. I envied him because no matter what my boyfriend would always be there more for him than me. It was interesting because he was my friend first. I never expected him and my boyfriend to become close friends or even best friends.
Apparently, I couldn’t keep my boyfriend and my best friend. My close relationship with Silence always made my boyfriend feel some type of way so I pulled back the reigns on our friendship to satisfy the need of my boyfriend. Now, I’m standing looking at them and it was the first time that I actually detested their friendship and felt the green dragon of jealousy. Mainly because I really needed him to be there with me and I asked, possibly begged him to come and he promised, but at the end of the day I didn’t matter.
I walked up to them and smiled regardless before saying, “Whelp, I’m pregnant. You’re gonna be a Dad and you’re gonna be an Uncle.”
© Hikari Aie
To Be Continued…
Day Five: The Aftermath
Day Three: His Words