It’s hard to break down your walls and let people in. It’s even harder when people hurt you when your walls are down. I’m struggling to find that balance once again. Part of me is hurting and the other part just wants to put back up that wall. Seal off all the exits so that no one can get in. I know I can’t do that but its my defense mechanism.
I keep making the mistakes and asking for forgiveness. The only logical thing is to just stop making mistakes but how do you erase something that’s conditioned? It is said that time heals all wounds but sometimes that’s not the case. With time, I find that I’m only getting worse…
hikaricherryblossoms 
I completely get what you are saying. I’ve been hurt and it hurt even more when I trusted them enough not to hurt me again and then they did. Now a year later i am finally in a space where I am ready to heal. I’m tired of wishing he didn’t hurt me, because guess what… He did. As you try to heal, know that others are here with you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Thanks for sharing and being here.
LikeLike
What about the one who is working to get the walls down and give you peace of mind? What about his hard work to erase the past transgressions?
LikeLike
They wouldn’t go unnoticed. I see him trying hard and I appreciate it. This was actually written because of something he did. My first reaction was to shut him out but then what good would it do…We both have a lot to learn. It just feels like I have a further way to go than him.
LikeLike
Are you guilty?
LikeLike
Guilty of?
LikeLike
I mean do you feel guilty that you think you have more work and such.
LikeLike
Yeah, sometimes. I know that I make it hard for him but I also know that he won’t run. He’s willing to put in the work. However, sometimes…I feel guilty that certain levels have to be met before some leeway is given on my side. I wish it it came easier for me.
LikeLike
Everyone’s different. You’ll get there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I hope so. 🙂
LikeLike