I’m a single parent. I don’t use this term loosely or to hurt anyone but this is my reality. My pregnancy wasn’t planned nor wanted for good reasons of course. Nor did I expect the “Baby Daddy” to stick around or even want him too. In my eyes, he destroyed everything about me. Stole my innocence and then bragged to the world I gave him son.
Through it all…
The agonizing days of morning sickness and the widening of my hips so that a baby could pass through my canal. Tender breasts, spotting, kicking, headaches, fainting spells, and sometimes pure exhaustion from working not one but two jobs, plus still going to college full time.
Working straight down to my due date and past my due date. My bosses telling me I was unable to work because they did not want my water to break at work. Having swollen feet that made you go up two shoe sizes. Having to go tinkle ever five minutes and maneuver a huge stomach around.
Listening to your father put you down constantly and having your mother utterly disappointed in you because they felt that you were “fast” and “spread your legs” to the first guy you met.
Inducing labor and patiently waiting for the child to come for twelve hours with no pain medication. Being torn as your child enters the world to take his first breath. Being too tired to hold him after waiting nine months to meet the person who turned your life upside down. Sitting in the bed watching him sleep, wondering what your next move is.
Realizing that your life will never be the same anymore. Having your child on Friday night, Getting released on Sunday morning, and leaving him when he was only three days old to go back to college to take final exams. Exams that you knew you had to take but couldn’t even study for because you were so exhausted. Your little person did not want to sleep.
When I sit and think about it, I’ve been through a lot. I’ve had my share of heart aches and heart breaks. I’ve hit rock bottom several times. I’ve gained and lost a lot. I became a mother and got a whole new level of responsibility. A new sense or purpose.
Even though it feel’s like I’ve endured and honestly I have…