I’ve been missing for a while and it has not been easy.
Long story short I’ve been going through the motions. I kept a lot of stuff in and after a while it got to me…so I broke. Imagine that you have a bird or an angel and you are plucking the wings from it one by one. It would hurt right.
This is how it’s been for me the last couple of days. I can’t control it. I don’t know what to do with it or how to handle it. So I kept it in and it slowly eats away at me. Suddenly, I found myself in the deepest state of depression that I have ever been in my life.
I don’t want to go out, read, write, or do anything. I’m just here existing like everyone else in the world. I’m doing the bare minimum to make it. It feels like my heart is in someone else’s hands and they are slowly squeezing it until I cease to exist.
I’m not suicidal, so don’t worry. I guess I’m just hurt in more ways than one. To express myself to the one’s I care about hurts them more so I keep a vow of silence because the last thing I want is to cause the people I care for more pain.
You said I was a strong person….but even strong people break.